Children who don't have a reliable way to communicate with others often cry, scream, or tantrum when the people around them are unable to figure out what it is that they want or need. As a result, parents and caregivers of children who frequently meltdown when they can't make themselves understood are often pretty stressed out. As a parent, you want to be able to understand what your child is trying to communicate and to provide whatever it is that they need.

Fortunately, there are simple strategies that you can use to teach functional communication, even before your child starts speaking.

What to Do: Teach a Simple Communication Method

Start by introducing a simple, consistent way for your child to express themselves. You don’t need to wait for words! There are several effective nonverbal communication methods:

• PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System): Children learn to hand over a picture of what they want in exchange for the item or activity. Start with one picture, like a favorite snack, and build from there.
• Sign Language: Simple signs for "open," "eat," "drink," or "help" can be very powerful. Signs are especially useful because they’re portable. Your child always has their hands!
• Gesture Modeling: If formal signs or pictures feel overwhelming at first, start with consistent gestures like pointing or reaching while modeling the spoken word (“juice!”) at the same time.
• AAC Device (Augmentative and Alternative Communication): High-tech AAC devices use synthesized speech to communicate. They can range from simple devices that play pre-recorded messages to complex devices that allow users to type out messages using a keyboard or touchscreen. Examples include speech-generating devices (SGDs) and tablets with AAC apps.

The key is to pick one method and use it consistently. Don’t worry about doing it perfectly! Just be clear, patient, and responsive. And no matter which communication method you choose, remember to always model the spoken word at the same time!

When to Do It: During Motivating Moments

The best time to teach communication is when your child is already motivated, like when they want a snack, a toy, or your attention.

Here’s how it might look:

• Your child reaches for a cookie.
• Instead of giving your child the cookie right away, hold it up next to your mouth and model exchanging the picture card (or pushing the cookie button on an AAC device) or ASL sign for “cookie” while saying “cookie.”
• Prompt your child to hand you the picture card (or push the button) or imitate the sign. They don’t have to do it perfectly; reinforce their efforts!
• The moment they do, immediately give them the cookie and celebrate their success.

These teachable moments create a strong connection between the new communication behavior and a positive outcome, making your child more likely to use it again.

Why to Do It: Reduce Frustration and Build Independence

Every successful communication exchange, verbal or nonverbal, is a win that builds your child’s confidence. Teaching your child a consistent way to express their wants and needs:

• Reduces meltdowns and confusion caused by miscommunication. Fewer meltdowns means reduced parental stress.
• Teaches your child how to get their needs met without needing to cry, scream, or hit.
• Lays the foundation for spoken language or more advanced communication skills in the future.

If your child struggles to tell you what they want or need, don’t wait for words to appear. Give them a way to communicate now, using tools that match their developmental level. Whether it’s a picture card, an AAC device, or a simple hand sign or gesture, you’re not only meeting their needs, you’re teaching a life-changing skill that can reduce frustration for both you and your child.

Would you like help getting started with PECS or simple sign language? Our parent coaching program includes personalized support to help you teach communication in everyday moments. Learn more here.