How can you develop your child's play skills? First, a quick review of “typical” play development.

Within “typical” development, there are certain phases of play that tend to occur. Young babies often mouth items and explore them visually or with their hands and feet, rarely engaging with the item based on its intended purpose. Cause and effect play tends to occur next, which consists of manipulating toys, or anything really, and observing the effect that occurs. This is why so many toys for 6 months - 1 year olds involve lights and sounds, easy to push buttons, or spontaneous activity that occurs from simply approaching the toy. As infants turn into toddlers, we start to see more functional play, where items are used for their intended purposes such as pushing cars down ramps, building with blocks, putting puzzle pieces into puzzles, etc. Then, children engage in pretend play, which has many steps!

Just because a child doesn’t engage in play the same way neurotypical children do, doesn’t mean that they don’t play! If the definition of play is to engage in activity for enjoyment, surely your child engages in activities throughout their day that would meet the definition and could therefore be called “play." Every child is unique, and play should always be individualized to that child. Now, this isn’t to say that teaching a child how to engage with toys, books, and other leisure activities is not important. Having the opportunity to expand on your child's play can help language development, social responding and relationships, spatial awareness, and the list goes on and on. 

We’re going to explore a few ways that you can build on and expand your child's existing play skills, and build motivation to engage in new types of play.

What does your child do for fun?

The first step to building play skills is to notice what your child already does for fun. Do they love slimy textures? Do they love jumping off the bed? Do they love pretending to feed their baby dolls? Simply noticing what your child does in their free time is key to start expanding their play. Notice WHY they love something.

Join in on the fun!

Once you have identified things that your child already enjoys, join in with them! We do this to better understand what is enjoyable about that activity for the child, and to pair ourselves with the activity. If your child is avoiding you or if they stop engaging in “play” the second you show up, it’s going to be pretty hard to teach new play skills. For children that tend to stop engaging in play when approached, stay on this step as long as you need for them to accept your proximity and participation in their play. For example, let’s say your child loves to play by themselves rolling cars back and forth and turns away or even walks away the second you try to join. The first step in building play would be simply spending time with your child while they engage with this activity, gradually moving closer and closer until they accept your proximity. It’s important not to jump right in and start trying to teach new ways of playing if your child is not ready. This can make the situation aversive and not so fun for either of you. Remember that this step can take time, and consistency is key!

If your child readily accepts your presence in their activity, you can begin modeling ways to expand on their play. For example, if your child loves wet and slimy textures, they might love finger paint. Over time, you can begin modeling using a paint brush on the paper instead of painting with fingers. Or, you can use the paintbrush to get the paint on their hands, which will build up their motivation to interact with the paintbrush itself. Another example would be a child who loves playing with pretend food, the kind that sticks together in the middle with velcro. Maybe this learner loves repeatedly taking the food apart and putting it back together, so you continually model cutting the food with a pretend knife, putting the food into bowls, and pretending to eat the food. The idea here is that you are showing your child how to engage with their preferred activity/materials in a new way, without forcing them to engage. The more exposure your child has to different types of play and the more often you model new ways to play, the more likely they will be to try them out. Be prepared - this may take a lot of time and repetition.

Another great way to expand on play is to bring new activities or toys into existing play. Let’s say your child loves to splash while in the bath. You can bring in small balls that float, and model splashing the balls down into the water. Over time, your child may come to enjoy the balls in and of themselves without the water. In this way, you've built up interest and engagement with the balls by incorporating them into an activity that they already enjoyed. Now, this opens up a whole new set of play skills, as you can work on things like throwing the ball, rolling balls, playing “whack a mole” with balls, and so on. 

The 3 Most Important Parts of Teaching New Play Skills:

Remember that at the end of the day, play is supposed to be FUN! If your child isn’t having fun, it’s not play. So to recap, the three most important parts of teaching new play skills are:

1. Join them in their play - see why they enjoy it, how it’s meaningful to them, and gain ideas on what else they might enjoy that is similar.
2. Model ways to expand on their play - model, model, model! Show them new and fun ways of interacting with materials.
3. Integrate new activities into established play - bring boring activities into fun activities to help build engagement. This “pairing” of the fun activity with the new activity will help to build engagement in the long run.

In conclusion, building play skills is an essential part of every child's development journey. By understanding the various phases of play and recognizing that every child's play is unique, we can tailor interventions to support their individual needs and preferences. Remember, play is not only enjoyable but also a valuable opportunity for learning and growth. By joining children in their play, modeling new ways to engage, and introducing new activities into their established play routines, you can foster a sense of enjoyment and exploration while promoting the development of essential skills. Ultimately, let's keep in mind that play should always be fun, and by following these three key steps—joining, modeling, and integrating—we can create meaningful and enriching play experiences for children of all abilities. 

Get Started At Home:

• Think of 3 things your child likes to do and 3 ways you could incorporate those things to build appropriate play.