For many parents of children with autism or ADHD, family activities can feel unpredictable. Maybe your child loses interest quickly, resists participating, becomes dysregulated, or seems more focused on “what’s next” than what’s happening right now.

But there’s a simple, powerful tool that can turn everyday moments into meaningful learning opportunities: Positive Praise.

When used intentionally, positive praise isn’t just “being nice.” It’s a research-backed reinforcement strategy that strengthens connection, boosts cooperation, and helps children build confidence and emotional regulation, especially during family activities where structure is loose and expectations shift often.

This article will show you how to use Positive Praise Practice at home, during outings, and in everyday routines, plus how to expand these skills with support from The Behavior Place.

Why Positive Praise Works (Especially for Kids With Autism or ADHD)

Children with ASD or ADHD often struggle with:

• staying focused during unstructured activities

• understanding social expectations

• managing transitions

• coping with sensory or emotional demands

• knowing exactly what behavior adults want from them

Positive praise acts as a guidepost; it clarifies expectations, reinforces the behaviors you want to see more of, and gives immediate feedback that feels rewarding and motivating.

In short:
Children repeat what gets reinforced. And praise is one of the most effective, accessible reinforcers we have.

What “Positive Praise Practice” Really Means

Positive Praise Practice is the intentional use of:

Specific praise

Not: “Good job.”
Try: “I love how you’re sitting calmly while we play.”

Immediate reinforcement

Praise delivered right when the behavior happens helps children understand what they did well.

High-frequency acknowledgement

The more you catch the behavior you want, the more you’ll see it.

Pairing praise with natural rewards

Like continuing the game, earning a turn, choosing the next activity, or getting a high-five.

This approach is deeply rooted in evidence-based ABA strategies and works beautifully for children of all ages.

How to Use Positive Praise During Family Activities

Here are simple ways to practice during routines you’re already doing:

1. During Playtime

Family play (board games, pretend play, puzzles) gives you countless opportunities to build cooperation and emotional flexibility.

Try reinforcing:

• sharing materials

• waiting a turn

• staying with the activity

• asking for help

• narrating what they’re doing

Example Praise:

• “You waited your turn! That makes playing this game so fun.”

• “Thanks for telling me you needed help instead of getting upset.”

2. During Meals or Snacks

Many children become wiggly, distracted, or overwhelmed at the table.

Reinforce:

• sitting at the table

• taking bites

• communicating preferences

• trying something new

• using a calm voice

Example Praise:

• “I love how you told me ‘all done’ instead of pushing the plate.”

• “You tried one bite! That was brave!”

3. During Outings and Community Activities

Whether you’re going to the park, a store, or a family gathering, praise helps reduce anxiety and increase cooperation.

Reinforce:

• walking safely

• using coping tools

• staying close

• transitioning away from preferred items

Example Praise:

• “Great job holding my hand while we walked through the parking lot.”

• “You used your headphones when it got loud, that helped your body stay calm.”

4. During Routines and Daily Tasks

Praise builds independence and reduces power struggles.

Reinforce:

• brushing teeth

• putting toys away

• getting dressed

• following a direction the first time

Example Praise:

• “You cleaned up your toys so quickly! That was helpful.”

• “Thanks for getting your shoes, I love how you listened.”

What if My Child Doesn’t Respond to Praise?

Totally normal.

Children with autism or ADHD may need:

• more enthusiastic praise (bigger reaction)

• paired reinforcers (praise + something meaningful)

• consistent practice (it becomes more effective over time)

With repetition, praise becomes conditioned reinforcement, something your child genuinely enjoys and is motivated by.

At The Behavior Place, we teach parents how to make praise meaningful, personalized, and powerful (even if your child seems to ignore it at first).

Make Positive Praise a Family Habit

Here are quick ways to stay consistent:

• Aim for 4 praise statements for every correction.

• Look for the smallest attempts, not just “perfect” behavior.

• Praise effort, not outcome.

• Use “I notice…” statements to stay specific.

• Keep a mental list of behaviors you want to reinforce more.

Positive praise shapes behavior, but it also strengthens your relationship, which is one of the strongest predictors of long-term progress.

How The Behavior Place Can Support Your Praise Practice

We’ve seen firsthand how transformative positive reinforcement can be for families, especially when the child struggles with regulation, transitions, listening, or emotional control.

Our support services make it easier:

Parent Coaching

Get personalized guidance from a BCBA to help you:

• implement praise strategies that work for your child’s profile

• build cooperation during difficult routines

• reduce tantrums and increase flexibility

• learn how to reinforce behavior without relying on bribes or threats

Online Courses

Learn foundational behavior strategies at your own pace. Our courses break down:

• reinforcement basics

• shaping behavior

• teaching cooperation

• promoting independence

• building emotional regulation

Both options are designed to uplift parents (not overwhelm them) with practical, real-life strategies that create calmer, happier routines.

Positive praise is more than a parenting technique, it’s a connection-building practice that helps your child feel successful, capable, and supported.

And once you learn how to use praise intentionally, you’ll start seeing small wins turn into big progress.

If you're ready to start practicing positive praise at home, download your Positive Praise Cheat Sheet & 14-Day Family Praise Challenge Calendar.